Waiting with Hope

The Advent Season is quickly coming to an end. Soon we will all be done with the running around to buy stuff, the cooking marathons, and the travel journeys. When it's all over, I will be tempted ask was it worth it, but all the work and preparation adds to the expectation of the season. We are all hoping for something good.

We look in the eyes of the children in our lives and we sense a sweet innocence in the hope of a good Christmas. Many of us have been blessed to open a gift. We feel the deep flash of thankfulness This new thing is mine. It may be a sweater perfectly knitted and holding its shape, a toy still in it's adult-proof packaging, a cool gadget, a flawless do-dad, or a promised experience like a movie to watch, a trip to take, or a game to be played. 

I admit that sometimes I feel as if I have matured past the hope of the holiday, knowing down deep that each great gift fades. The sweater will one day have a hole, the toy discarded for another, the gadgets and do-dads may eventually find a home in the attic. Knowing this, it doesn't stop my heart from aching for something good. 

This past year was a year of un-met expectations for me. We began the year thinking that the doctors had found the cause of our infertility, so with each month's passing our hopes of a family grew, yet we wait. I graduated with my counseling degree only to discover that I need to take another course before I can be licensed. So we wait as that requirement gets fulfilled. I dream of a healing community, offering rest, training, and hope for survivors. So I research and network, but I wait. In the waiting comes the questioning. Will I be a mom? Will I finally be a licensed counselor? Will a Pilgrims Dream become a reality? When will Matt and I finally be doing what God has called us to do? 

In light of all these questions, frustrations, and un-met expectations, this year I have experienced this Advent season differently. Somehow my ache amplifies my need for God's presence in my life. Then it hits me. Christmas is because of the world's ache for God's love, his touch, and his grace. In the fullness of time God chose to put on skin and show us who he is. He came to be with us as we wear that sweater out. He is with us as we give and receive, triumph and fail, play and grieve. He is good and He is with us while we wait. 

Merry Christmas,

Tammy 

Thank you for joining me in the journey of A Pilgrims Dream. Here are a few prayer requests for the coming new year:

• For wisdom in partnerships as I meet with people and organizations in our state meeting the needs of domestic violence and trafficking survivors. 
• Guidance  and courage to take the next steps. 
• Please pray for the process of recruiting a board of directors. 
• Matt and I, as we restart our journey to adoption.